My open letter to the mom without a village…
It sucks. My heart hurts thinking about the struggle you are currently going through. When they said , “ it takes a village.” You didn’t believe them because you’ve always done everything on your own and you know others who have done the same. Maybe you have an awesome partner too, but that isn’t enough. They need extra help and support as well. Maybe you don’t have a village because you chose to leave them or you never had one to begin with. Maybe you have people who would love to surround you during this difficult time of transition from self to selfless as your pour your entire being into a little baby that has your whole heart. Maybe they are far away, too busy, or just have no clue that you need help. You don’t want to ask because , again, you’re used to doing everything for yourself. It’s hard. It’s harder than you could have imagined. Even if your baby is the sweetest thing and sleeps often and smiles at you all of the time, it’s really fucking hard. It’s hard that your partner has to go to work to support you all and you’re home alone all day. It’s hard that no one comes to check on you, or calls to see how you are doing well. It’s hard if you don’t have a close maternal figure to point you in the right direction or just reassure you that you’re doing a great job no matter what’s happening at the moment. It’s hard to want to just shower and take a nap, but to always want a clean house and fresh clothes available yet every move you make is now dependent on a tiny human being that needs you and all your love and comfort which is defiantly more important than a shower or clean house. It’s hard when you don’t have food, but you’re scared to take the baby out for too long for fear of being caught in an uncomfortable position and without help. So, you just wait until your partner gets home, while still using your hungry body to feed your baby. It’s hard to want to just talk to someone about something other than your baby, yet everyone just what’s to ask about the baby and so you feel guilty even trying to talk about yourself or your feelings. You bottle it all up and hope another chance comes at a later time. It’s hard when the sleep deprivation kicks in for both you and your partner and you have no one to help and frustration builds. So, you sleep when you can and eat what’s left in the fridge and take a quick shower while you can, all in hopes of it getting easier as they say. You hope that putting your child first that they will get a better childhood than you had. You hope you’re doing it right and eventually it will al be worth it. But while you’re in the thick of it and it’s really hard, know that I see you mama. I see your struggle and pain and it will get easier. And when you get through it without a village you will fully know your strength as a mother and woman and you will grow more than you could have ever thought and you will be better off and your child will excel in life because of the strength you have showed them. and your partnership will thrive because you made it through, even without a Village.
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